Missouri drivers

What do we hate more than anything as a species? Those we contend are terrible drivers. Where do most of those terrible drivers reside? Missouri. 

Now, I know you're thinking "wow, what a shitty, collectivist thing to say. Especially from a so called open minded libertarian". Let me just tell you, eat a bag of dicks. Facts are facts, and Missouri drivers are terrible. What's so bad about calling it like I see it? They drive like grandparents who suddenly get random bursts of driving like 16 year olds. Do you know what that means? They're erratic and slow all at the same time.  

I think a more important question would be how did they get to be such bad drivers? Maybe it's the law? Maybe the overbearing police presence on the highways in Missouri turned these people into terrible drivers. There is no way that there's a collective understanding of terrible driving there. It has to be some sort of outside force causing this.  

You know what's fun? Ignoring any evidence about anything and just assuming they're shitty drivers because of all the cousin screwing in their family tree. Its probably the police though. If you live in Missouri, and you're offended by this. Don't worry. Its just an anecdotal joke. Blog posts dont always have to be serious.  

Missouri. The show me state. Show them how to drive, Oh God. 

Aaron Thompson: Host and writer for LibertyLampoon.com

Aaron Thompson: Host and writer for LibertyLampoon.com

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