Amazon tax "agreement"

So you are an Amazon Prime member who loves to shop using the app. You happen to live in Oklahoma and suddenly (que horrifying music) your paying more for every freaking thing on there as of March 1st. Why? Because "free market republican" and governor Mary Fallin talked Amazon into collecting it. 

First of all, I have no idea why Amazon agreed. Maybe because its better for them if its just an agreement and not a freaking law set in stone by the gods of the state. Amazon provides a great service and for all I care, they could ship all of their jobs to China tomorrow and I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep. You want to know why? Because that's how shit stays cheap, dumb-dumb. Amazon made a choice that I find very distastful. That being said I guess it's sort of their choice. 

Mary Fallin on the other hand, that is one stupid woman. I have yet to meet anyone who likes her. She's presided over a terrible budget crisis that continues to get worse, and all of the socialists crying for "muh education money"  won't shut uo about how shit of a job she's doing. I won't shut up about how all of her dumb-dumb solutions involve raping our pocket books for the states huge mistakes. (Taxation is theft).

She started the last state of the state address talking about one of her "solutions" to the budget crisis. Tax cigarettes MORE. Because you know, Medicaid is under funded and yet over run with smokers. So to fix the problem we'll take their broke ass dollars, further exacerbating the issue since they're on Medicaid because THEY'RE ALREADY FUCKING POOR, and then, we'll also continue to dump ass loads of cash into ANTI-SMOKING CAMPAIGNS AND BILLBOARDS ALL OVER THE STATE AS WELL AS FREE SMOKING CESSATION PRODUCTS FOR THEM.

Wow Mary... Thanks so much for the well thought out government redistribution project... Or I guess I mean highway robbery. 

Sorry for the screaming, Mary is a special kind of thug that I have no respect for. But the crazy thing is that she claims this will "level the playing field". It's "not fair" that local brick and morter stores have to pay and Amazon is in this weird loop hole that doesn't have to pay, and because of that, brick and morter stores are being hurt business wise. Is that a siren I hear? Yep... It's the waaambulance. 

Your physical business isn't getting beat by Amazon because of the no sales tax, it's because your store sucks compared to Amazon. Amazon is doing 2 hour delivery in some cities. Some people can take a really long shit and then go to their door and find their grocerys sitting there. Does your business offer 2 hour delivery? Doubt it. For that matter, why is the solution "well lets rob amazon and their customers to level the playing field". Why isn't the solution to NOT rob the neighborhood business? I can tell you why. 

Any government. Not just the feds. Not just the States. Even your city. They don't care about you or your kids. You're cattle to them. 

Mary sucks. Oklahoma government sucks. Amazon... Well I'm still going to buy from them, and I can't wait to be able to buy my groceries while shitting.  

 

 

Aaron Thompson: Host and writer at LibertyLampoon.com

Aaron Thompson: Host and writer at LibertyLampoon.com


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